Handy

I blame the Girl Scout cookies.  

You know what I mean.  I was doing so well reducing sugar until cookie season.  I can't blame the cookies for all the pasta I've eaten this month, but I cannot be held responsible for the sugar.  Curse you, cookies!!  

Honestly, I absolutely do have control of what I put in my mouth.  I've made some bad food choices in February, but this week I am working on rebooting the diet plan.  I was talking to one of the trainers at the gym where I work, and she started following a diet called "intuitive eating."  Basically, you eat whatever you want focusing on nutritionally dense food and "junk food" in moderation with the understanding that some things you eat aren't actually food (Fruity Pebbles, Totino's pizza, Cheetos, Girl Scout cookies...).  This diet plan assumes that you can be intuitive as to what foods are nutritious or not.  The problem is that there are so many people who think (thanks to advertising) a Hot Pocket or a Lean Cuisine meal meet the definition of food.  They don't.  Intuitive eating is definitely something to explore, though, because it allows you to eat what you want when you want it.  There isn't any denial of food, but intuitive eating demands some conscientiousness about what exactly food is.

She also mentioned how she was using My Fitness Pal and had the same problems with it cursing her out for eating too much fat or eggs, etc.  I felt better about ditching My Fitness Pal after talking to her about its shortfalls.  Again, counting calories is important in weight loss, but I strongly believe that eating whole, nutritious food is much more important than dwelling on calories.  

Enough food talk.  More fun talk.  This is good stuff right here:

I always say that our bodies are really amazing things, and our fingers are no exception.  I mentioned earlier that I have a young friend battling cancer.  If you are able, please consider using a finger to clink this link to read her story and donate to her Go Fund Me campaign.   Jenn is truly kind and bubbly and smart and beautiful and strong; I really don't have enough adjectives in my vocabulary to complement her.  

Our hands are one of the most impressive tools on Earth.  Their dexterity is unmatched in nature.  Our hands are expressive and warm (or cold, like mine).  They hold the ones we love.  They change our babies' diapers and lovingly stroke our pets.  My favorite thing that hands do?  High fives.  

What will your hands do today?  Whether you type an email or bake a loaf of bread, take a moment to appreciate how great your hands are.  And remember to give a high five or two while you're at it.

Friendsy

Oh, the cats.  One's a cuddler, and one's a rascal.  Can you tell which is which??

Moving on...my last post was, well, sort of a downer.  Part of being your best is vocalizing your struggles and asking for help when you need it.  I felt so much love and light sent to me after my post, and it was amazing.  Thanks to everyone for the kind words and encouragement.

What I learned from writing the post is that I'm not the only one fighting imaginary battles.  Even battles that are imaginary still require weapons, and friends are the perfect weapon.   Girl Scouts has been promoting a program called Be a Friend First, and it most certainly isn't just for kids.  We don't always have the words to make our friends feel better, but we always have coffee or hugs or ears.  We always have a shoulder to cry on.  Even if you don't think you'll have the words to help, just be a friend.  Just be.  (Oh look, more yoga advice)

Of course, sometimes when I'm with a friend...

That's it.  I just wanted to make sure everyone knows that emotional slumps don't have to last.  When life is a frenzy, count on your friendsies.

Fighting Imaginary Battles

Hello, readers!  It has been a day or two since I've blogged.  I spent a few days in a pretty deep funk after hearing bad news from a few friends.  Unexpected death and cancer were only two of the tragedies faced by friends and acquaintances this month.  I spent so many years being sleep deprived and raising babies/toddlers that I never really had the time to reflect outward to what was going on around me.  Now that my own home life isn't so all-consuming and I can exist outside of my own front door I realize the terrible things life throws at us.  Now, surely I've had some shit slung in my direction, but nothing was ever so bad as to make me feel the proximity of mortality.

Most of you probably don't know this, but I am a raging hypochondriac.  I worry constantly that I have cancer or heart problems or whatever.  Some days I will fixate on a "symptom" for the entire day or even days.  Pain in my side?  Cancer.  Lack of energy and weight loss?  Cancer or maybe a heart problem.  Lord knows I've googled symptoms a time or two, which is NEVER a good idea.  Yes, I've even had blood work and an MRI in the past because my doctor knew I wouldn't believe his diagnosis of "too much caffeine" or "flu-like virus" or "acid reflux."  I have spent hours thinking about who will help my husband raise my children and make sure they get to school, pondering who will make their lunches and kiss them goodnight if I am gone.

I don't like this feeling of helplessness against pain and despair.  No amount of religion or philosophy will ever convince me that there is a purpose to suffering and despondency.  I'm not a big believer in "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I know it makes me sound like a pessimist.  I know it makes me sound a little crazy.  Okay, maybe a lot crazy.  Here's what I've come to realize: I can't escape pain or despair.  I can't.  It's inevitable.

I also can't and shouldn't anticipate pain or suffering.

Worrying about something will not change the outcome for the better.

Many folks turn to God or religion or the hope of an afterlife to help relieve suffering.  Most of us, even folks like me who aren't religious, have a philosophy to help us reconcile life's unfairness and help us cope with loss and hurt.  I haven't had trouble losing weight during the Best Me challenge, but I have had some trouble shedding the emotional heaviness of dealing with suffering and loss and my own mortality.

So, friends, I've added something more to making myself the best I can be: honoring with all my heart the words I use in each and every yoga class I teach.

For what has been, thank you.
To what will be, yes.

I am mortal, but I am fierce.  I have lived already been given 35 years of a breathtaking life, and I know plenty of folks who weren't blessed with 35 birthdays.  I am too blessed to be stressed, so to speak, and I will stop anticipating suffering.   Send me some light this week, friends.  My heart needs to be refilled with calm and confidence so that I can continue to send love to those I know who are actually in pain and fighting real battles, not just imaginary ones.

Best Me Challenge Update

I stopped counting calories, and my commitment to adding more cardio has fallen short.  However, the scale is still reflecting progress.

I'm pleased with the weight loss, but my $100 yoga pants are now sliding down my hips while I work out.  Sigh.  So, I've decided that the 3/4 box of Thin Mints I ate yesterday is really a sort of "food belt" that I will use to hold up my pants.  A fellow yoga instructor suggested we wear suspenders to hold up our yoga pants.  I'd like weight to melt off my thighs and calves, but as usual it is coming off my belly and boobs.  We can't fight genetics.

Obviously, I've added some sugar back to my diet mostly in the form of Girl Scout cookies.  I've also been drinking an occasional margarita which also adds some sugar in the form of agave nectar.  Sugar is sugar in all it's forms, remember, with maybe the exception of honey that also has lots of other nutritional value.

How are you all doing?  It can be easy to become complacent in a diet/fitness routine, but don't give up!  Be honest with yourself about where you're failing, and be grateful for how far you've come.

Something I encourage you to add if you haven't already is a bit of time for reflection, meditation, or prayer.  I like to light a candle and focus on it for a minute while thinking of those I know who need some love and light.  Don't forget to take time to be thankful and to rejoice when you or others are also succeeding and thriving.  Being the Best Me means taking some time to decide what kind of energy I'm going to send out into the universe.